Saying 'Goodbye' to 'The Grey Man'
For Mark, who joined the Rippleacts coaching programme in 2025, the journey to seeking help began shortly after the pandemic during which he found himself isolated and unsure of what his next steps should be.
Mark's Story
After a long and varied career, from bus driving to working in a window factory, Mark stopped working in 2015 to look after his father who then sadly passed away in 2016. His world was thrown upside down: ‘Suddenly you’re on your own and…how am I going to cope? Am I going to be able to? Am I going to survive?
After a long period of anxiety attacks and feeling isolated due to the pandemic, Mark decided to seek help and through his work coach at DWP, he found the Rippleacts coaching programme and decided to give it a go. The first few sessions were difficult, he described himself as a ‘Grey Man’ and hid towards the back of the room: ‘it’s something I heard in a military context…if you’re captured you just act like “The Grey Man”...you’re just a man, nothing special…I just want to be in the background.’ As his confidence grew, however, Mark’s demeanor changed. The relaxed setting and support from the group and coach Louise, in particular, encouraged him to come out of his shell: ‘Louise was so laidback and lovely…it didn’t feel like teaching, more like this is the path, it’s your decision which you want to go down but I’m going to helpyou
make that choice.’
Mark’s confidence continued to grow as the coaching sessions finished and he, and the other participants progressed onto their Ripple Project, a revamp of the detox room at Change, Grow, Live in Norwich. Mark found the structure to be beneficial to his wellbeing. Despite finding it a little daunting to begin with, he developed new skills and added his own personal touches to the project, including his own ‘diamond’ paintings he’d created at home. Since the end of the project, he has continued further to develop his skills, doing voluntary work at the Phoenix Centre, taking acting and horticulture classes and is soon hoping to renew his forklift license. ‘The course gave me more confidence, the confidence to try things and keep busy.’
‘I would recommend it to anyone, I really would…a lot of people who are struggling, it gives them structure and purpose…that’s a quarter of the way there to be able to get back into work or do things in your life that you never would have thought about.’
As anyone that has had the fortune to meet Mark in person will attest, he couldn’t appear to be further from the “Grey Man” these days. Whether it’s through his improvisational acting skills or ‘Dad dancing’ at the local disco he works security at, he is always finding joy in making those around him laugh and brightening their day: ‘I’m a person who thinks if I can make someone smile, laugh, that makes me feel better because I then think, I’ve made a difference to their day...I’m slowly climbing the staircase back to how I used to be and it’s taking time but hopefully I’ll get there.’
And the 'Grey Man', is he still around?
"I'd probably walk in there now and go 'Hello Darlings!'
